From London to SF
It’s been 5 days since we packed up a few suitcases and moved across the Atlantic to San Francisco. I feel in a strange sort of limbo. On the surface, it’s a lot like being on vacation; there’s no routine, we don’t have to log on to our jobs, we’re constantly planning all the tourist things we want to do here in SF and also across America and we get super excited over how American everything is (paper bags for the groceries!!). We are also, in true Brit fashion, obsessed with the sunshine - long may it continue!
But under the surface it’s about as far away from a vacation as you can get. There are so many jobs still to do, errands to run, forms to fill out and things to organise. We are still finding our feet in the city, learning the lay of the neighbourhoods and working out where everything is. Add in a big scoop of jetlag and the whole thing starts to feel unreal.
I had a wobble moment a few days ago. My husband, who has moved out here for work, was planning out his next few weeks of meetings and appointments and I felt a void. It is the first time in over 10 years I’ve not had a job to go to and a schedule to adhere to. I felt totally overwhelmed by it - where on earth do you start when you start from scratch, in a new city, a new country.
The truth is I probably needed this break. I have been showing all the signs of burnout recently that you read about - fatigue, low social battery, anxiety etc. So this is nothing but an amazing thing, but it still feels daunting.
We sat on the porch (pause while I squeal at how American that sounds) and chatted it through. Don’t try to do it all at once, take a breath, just small steps, keep it fun and embrace the opportunity. And this is a huge opportunity that I am very lucky to have. To be able to pause and reassess what I want my career to look like, to have time for creative outlets and to rediscover the love of my work. Not everyone gets that chance and I am determined not to waste it.
So here I am, ready to embark on this adventure. Excited and totally scared for what lies ahead but definitely in a good way.